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And yet we have a God who passionately endorses marriage as the norm for people, and is actively seeking to bless us.

The uncertainty of dating highlights for us the immanent possibility of blessing and tragedy.

In marriage and parenting, the disappointments and pains can be much more devastating, and sometimes even permanent.

We need not be uncertain about everything in dating, though.

Maybe the whole point of dating — and the fact that Scripture says so little about it — is that we don’t know what we’re doing, we can’t do it well (alone), and it isn’t sustainable.

We’re betting a portion of our heart, without knowing how they will respond. More than that, when sinful people are put in a place of danger, they’re more prone to play God.We can say a dating relationship is protected and settled and safe, but it isn’t — no matter what dating philosophy one adheres to, the emotional escalation of dating leads either to a breakup or a marriage.There is only one honest thing to say when the weight of dating uncertainty weighs heavy: “We don’t know.” We must confess that, to the experience of besetting and anxious uncertainty in dating, there isn’t an answer or at least not a concrete and immediate answer.We are most prone to try and seize control of the situation — of hearts, of circumstances, or of emotions, all in self-defensive ways that are tragically self-defeating. In self-perpetuating irony, magnifying all of the uncertainty and anxiety, we just end up multiplying our own pain and destroying the relationship.Indulging in anxiety in a dating relationship is like indulging in back-seat driving: It only makes everyone else more nervous and annoyed and doesn’t actually contribute anything positive.




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