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Encouragement, and this phrase is arguably the most commonly spoken praise children hear. Instead of cutting off the conversation, you can say, “I know you want my answer to be different, but it will not change”.You can also train yourself to make sure the child fully understands your response, with “I just told you my answer. ” This allows the child to present their opinion or get clarification.We often try to teach lesson to kids about life at the most inappropriate times.If a child gets hurt because they were doing something dangerous or inappropriate, they already learned their lesson.By the time a child has gotten in trouble for something, they already feel guilty, sorry and embarrassed about it.Threatening to tell someone else rubs salt in the wound.If a child is coloring the grass purple, it is easy to tell them it must be green.A kid can sit down on a chair facing the back, and we make them turn around.

“That is not safe” or “Your skin is not for coloring on” is specific and helps them learn why things are off limits, rather than just that they are.

“If you choose to (continue that behavior), you choose to (receive whatever consequence has already been established as a punishment)”.

You might say, “Erin, if you choose to poke your sister again, you choose to not watch TV for the rest of the day”.

You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.

Train yourself to say what you want them to do instead of what you don’t. Notice the common element is starting with the word “you” and then acknowledging what they worked at, rather than what you think about it.

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